


Platonic Social Spot for Consuming Food and Alcohol

by Kanrachoi



Category: South Park
Genre: F/M, Gen, M/M, Science Fiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-30
Updated: 2019-04-30
Packaged: 2020-02-10 04:59:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18653383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kanrachoi/pseuds/Kanrachoi
Summary: They refused to meet at a bar





	Platonic Social Spot for Consuming Food and Alcohol

Craig waved hello to his husband. The two had been cohabitating in the cozy house for three years now and it had gone as well as anyone would expect. Craig had a classic day job at a research center downtown. The other a balanced a nightjob and graphic design career that allowed him to work from home. They were perfectly compatable.

"How was work?"

The blonde sitting on the couch glanced up at Craig as he entered the room. 

"Hey Tweekers, just the same old. People giving me trouble over dumb stuff. Over this. They just don't get it." Craig spat.

They both grew weary of complaints, but it was to be expected. Not everyone was such an open thinker, but it was particularly irritating since now that could be fixed. 

Tweek Tweak picked up his laptop and set it on their dining table to accompany Craig.

"They'll get it eventually, don't stress it. They probably just can't afford it you know? Still gotta be considerate." Tweek said in a gentle but uncertain voice.

"It's not that though..."

The other man cracked a grin and spoke up again. "Well, it's really their loss, life together like this," Tweek gestured to their surroundings and to Craig in particular, "is so much easier. It's a wonder everyone isn't doing it yet, if anything."

Tweek's words made sense to the other man. He felt calm here and wouldn't trade his life fpr anything. He smiled

"Well I'm going to go to hang out with the guys and get a drink. Thanks for everything." Craig traded his work things for his coat as he addressed Tweek.

"No problem. Have fun." Tweek said as he returned his full attention to his computer screen.

================================

Heya, Jimmy! How ya feelin'?" shouted a lanky, balding gentleman as a young man on crutches entered the bar. The young man waved and joined the table.

"Hey Garrison." Jimmy nodded at the balding man and grinned at his companions. "Hi Bebe, Nichole. Hey Craig. Wendy coming tonight?"

"Up at the bar," said Garrison. "So... ?" He leaned forward, eyebrows arched. Everyone was staring at the small adhesive bandage on Jimmy's temple. They all had a tiny dimpled scar in the same place. 

Jimmy's grin stretched wider. "I've never felt better," he announced; Craig applauded and the whole group beamed. "There's nothing left," he said, signaling for a beer. "I don't care about her. I don't care!" He looked around and took a deep breath. "God! All these women, and I don't care! I'm not thinking about them naked, am I man enough for them, do the other guys have something I don't... nothing. God, it's such a relief. Garrison, I can't tell you how thankful I am you convinced me. It's the best thing that's ever happened to me."

Garrison clapped him on the shoulder and petite, dark-skinned Nichole leaned over to give him a chaste hug. "We're so happy for you," she said. "The Romantex, it's amazing, huh? And the fiber's so small you can't even feel it going in!"

"Now you understand, yeah, Jimmy?" said Wendy, handing him a beer as she retook her seat and slurped foam from her mug. "Ugh, imagine; thirty years ago, before Fiberlobotics, we'd have been slaves to our hormones, desperate to find a mate." She shuddered. "I don't get why some people still haven't had a Romantex. Who wants heartbreak after heartbreak, feeling like shit all the time, worrying about being cheated o--" She stopped herself. "Oh! Jimmy, I didn't mean... I just meant, you can have any part of your brain altered, I don't know why anybody would deal with that."  
Jimmy sipped. "Don't worry about it. I couldn't tell you why. I was so damn crazy for her; I guess my brain thought I needed a wife." He snorted.

Bebe spoke up for the first time, smiling a pretty pink smile and smoothing her sweater over her bosom. "Well, that brings up something I need to tell you." She giggled. "I'm getting married!"  
"What?"

Craig slopped beer down his front, Wendy rocked her chair back, Jimmy slapped his forehead.

"Well that's exciting." Craig said flatly as he tried to mop up his shirt.

"Well, it's not because I'm in love, obviously, or want kids or anything," Bebe said, fiddling with her glass. "But I've always kind of liked those houses over on the other side, you know, in South Park. They have grass. And flowers. I've been driving over there a lot, and it's... quaint, I guess. Craig makes it work. Even the kids are all right. I think we might have one, me and Clyde. A girl. Then I can fix her hair and drive her to school." She glanced up and smiled uncertainly.

"But," said Wendy, visibly pulling herself together. "But South Park? You can have a little more work done, and you won't want any of that! Your career is so much more important-- you're a fibertech!"

"I thought so too, but I guess I just really crave the... the social construct, that's what the doctor said. I wouldn't undo my Romantex, not for a second. I wanted to get rid of those feelings. But the house and the flowers, I do want that. I was so lucky to find Clyde; practically no men want that life, especially with someone who isn't really interested in... you know..." She wrinkled her nose.

Craig shook his head. "But it never works out. Not naturally. But if you're careful it could be just what you're hoping for. Are you having more work done?"

"Oh, of course." Bebe nodded. "Friday we're getting pheromone-producing implants and receptors. For me it'll partially override the Romantex--only for Clyde of course--so I'll be at least a little physically attracted to him. He's doing it too, so it'll be mutual. So no worries. Our daughter will always have two loving parents. I mean, if we have one."

"So, you mean Clyde's had a Romantex?" asked Garrison.

"No, not a Romantex...."

"But he has had work?" Nichole's eyes went wide. "Come on, girl, tell us! No, wait, let me guess. Was he an underachiever? Couldn't get a promotion until he got himself turned into an alpha-type?"

Craig guffawed. "I heard they go in through the top for that one," he said. "Gotta shave a spot in your hair, looks like, i dunno, you're old! And balding."

"No, let me guess!" insisted Wendy. "Um... He was an impulsive spender-- expensive guy stuff like cars and tools...."

Garrison chortled and pointed at himself.

"Yeah," Nichole said, "but you got a good job and you don't want a wife." She flapped her hand at him. "Get away. You can have that stuff. But, right, Bebe, so you told him no way were you gonna watch your couple cash go for a bunch of bullshit, so you got him some sense put in there! Right?"

Bebe shook her head, smiling. "No, no, none of that. It was a rehab job at the State, before I met him. A few years ago... he had some problems and they didn't catch it. He killed some people. Women. Raped and killed them. I think there were seven or eight."

Faces went blank. Silence fell, hard and heavy.

"What? What's the matter?" Jane blinked at her friends. "He's not that person any more. They took all those things out and he's really nice. He even takes extra enhancers for thoughtfulness. Yesterday he washed my car, just to be nice!"

"But... " Craig stared at Bebe, his fists clenched on the tabletop. "How can you not think about it? How can you not imagine what he... are you saying you don't care?" Craig thought about Tweek. He had patient doctor confidenciality just like anyone else. But it was always best that way.

"Oh, no, not anymore," said Bebe, scratching at a tiny scab just over her ear.


End file.
